Mania and the Hopeful Celestial



Several months have passed since Maddie first met Mania. Maddie gently picks up the soul of a young girl, no older than six. She's crying, still terrified of the flames that already consumed her body on the second floor of the burning building. Maddie gently consoles her, gently carrying her up to Heaven. So many die pointlessly, with no opportunity to live out their lives. But such is life, and Maddie does her job because somebody has to do it. She is left in heaven with her grandmother, who had died two years ago of natural causes. The grandmother, greatly saddened by her granddaughter's death, does have some level of happiness in being reunited with her. Maddie knows she will be happy here, as all citizens of Heaven are.

With a deep sigh, Maddie has finished her work for now. She boards a train and exits by an office building. Stepping inside, she goes into the elevator, which takes her down, down further than any elevator should go.

A "ding" plays, and the doors slide open. Maddie is greeted by a concerning sight; Mania is sprawled on the floor, breathing heavily. She's covered in bruises, with black ichor staining her clothes, still seeping from a gash on her forehead.

Maddie rushes to her side. "Are you alright? What happened?"

She takes a cloth from her purse, dampening it using a small water bottle. She wipes some of the blood off her face, carefully cleaning the cut. With a slight golden glow, she seals the cut, although the bruises do not fade.

"I would heal you more, but I'm afraid angelic healing power beyond that minor act will hurt a demon more than it would help one."

Mania says slowly, coughing up her demonic blood with her breaths, "Some losers didn't like my deal and decided to take revenge on me by summoning me and beating the shit out of me. I'm fine. Come on."

She doesn't even shove the angel away, however. She doesn't even yell at her imps as they approach around Maddie and her. She simply groans and writhes slowly on the ground. One imp, an especially trouble-making girl, even floats beside the downed demon and kicks her knee. "Shows you!" She says. Whatever act sent her here must have been especially evil as Maddie has seen nobody quite as young as her among the imps in Mania's skyscraper.

"You've healed me enough. Uh, thanks, Maddie. But you'd help me a Hell of a lot more if you got me to the couch and gave me the remote."

The last months have been especially chaotic. Maddie's continued involvement in neutralizing some of the contracts in the same way she neutralized the farmer's had forced Mania to be more secretive about just how many people she'd sign contracts with in a day. And, more than that, there was a period where Mania even refused to acknowledge the angel, giving her the silent treatment. But, no attempt to dissuade the desperate celestial went anywhere, so Mania conceded.

"I'll need to postpone my next several clients."

"You should try thinking about something other than your clients for once, Mania. You might find it relaxing."

Maddie partially lifts Mania, helping drag her to the couch. She sets her down there and then approaches the young imp. She sits on her haunches to get to eye level with her, looking at her curiously.

"What did you do to get down here, little one? Someone as young as you is rare in here."

"I was jealous of my little brother so I, um, grabbed his neck really hard," The little imp giggles. "It really upset my daddy. I didn't mean to make him mad."

Mania ignores the imp, and she browses the listings on the television's streaming app. She's still groaning with pain.

"I have hobbies, smartass. The damn problem is that there's nothing interesting to watch."

Maddie nods gently, looking the little imp in the eyes.

"I see what happened. You killed your little brother. Maybe you meant it, maybe you didn't. But do you realize what making someone die does? When they die, they're gone. They don't come back. That's why your father sent you down here. He killed you too, like what you did to your brother. It's not very nice down here, though."

Maddie puts a hand on her chin, pretending to think deeply.

"Maybe if you recognize what you did was wrong, you'll get to leave. You'll even get to see your little brother again, and apologize to him, I might be able to take you there."

Mania eventually settles on some new drama serial to stare at. It's a blessing to her that this imp is interesting enough for Maddie to be distracted by it.

The imp shrugs and shares a cute smile. "I meant it, but I guessssssss I didn't think my brother would be gone gone. Gone gone. Gone gone gone gone gone."

She eventually continues, "Mania makes me work a lot. I lick so many envelopes... I hate it here! Can I leave? So if dying is like that, what do I do if I feel really mad at my brother? I don't think I want to see him..."

"Well, if killing is so bad, think of alternative ways to get back at your brother. You could have complained to your mom, and she may have helped. Anything else, except killing him, really. If you were that mad at him, you could've broken one of his toys. It wouldn't have been the right thing to do, but it would have been far better than killing him."

Maddie sighs, trying to figure out how to word her next statement to the imp.

"I think you don't hate your little brother as much as you say. I think you should really go up and apologize to him; it would be a good lesson on how to treat other people."

"I guess so... Like I did complain and I did do other stuff but—but I guess I didn't break his toys before I killed him. I didn't think to! I would have if I knew my daddy would send me here."

She giggles again. The imp starts to float closer to the ground. Her skin is a shade less red.

"Well... umm, I could try, but what if I kill him again when I didn't mean to? And then I do it again? I might mess up a lot... Oh, and and and—what if I still don't like him?"

"Can you keep it down?" Mania says.

"Well... that's the thing with killing someone. You can only really do it once. And then they're gone. But you'll see your brother again; I'll take you to him. It's a special place called Heaven, and you'll never have to work again. You can just play and relax, and who knows, maybe you'll learn to be friends with your brother."

Maddie ruffles her hair a little bit, giving her a smile.

"Okay! If I can't mess up again I guess... I guess I can go see Noah. Does he have toys in heaven, just in case I get mad? Take me to see him! I want to go. Please? Please? Pretty please?"

The imp smiles and hugs Maddie. Her feet are on the ground now, and she's been sucked of her red color.

"Um, but only if I get to stay. Like forever forever. I want to play again."

Maddie chuckles, taking the girl's hand.

"I promise. Forever forever. I'll take you there!" Maddie's halo flashes, and the two of them are on a quiet street in Heaven. They walk past rows of beautiful houses, until they reach a pleasant light blue house with a gray shingled roof. She leads her to the door, ringing the doorbell. Moments later, a young boy opens the door.

"Eleanor? But why are you here... the angels said you probably wouldn't be here for a long time..."

Tears welling in his eyes, he runs out the door, hugging his sister. Maddie simply smiles and then turns around, leaving the little scene behind. She still has her work cut out for her. Returning down to Mania's offices via the train and elevator, she steps back in to see Mania still at the TV.

"Sorry about that. I'll hang out with you now."

She plops herself on the couch next to Mania, not bothering to ask her first. She knows the demon would say no if she did, anyways.

"You really shouldn't hang out with me," Mania says. "What the fuck ever, though. We're on episode two, but you didn't miss much... Mind telling me where you took that imp you stole? Demons like her are supposed to be in Hell, obviously, so you're kind of violating the supernatural law. But oh I know, you're just trying to be such a good little angel. You're going to tell me you saw potential or whatever. Well, I'm here to tell you that Hell is supposed to last forever. Didn't you like fucking read that somewhere?"

She sighs, staring at the television as it buffers for a few seconds.

"I guess you think it doesn't last forever since you're delusional enough to think I can go to heaven."

"Oh, the girl? She's not an imp anymore. I chatted with her a bit, and it turns out all she had to do was let go of the resentment for her little brother. Once she did that, it was easy for her to pass on. I took her up to heaven, she's in a house with her brother now. The one she killed in life."

Maddie watches the show with Mania, enjoying simply hanging out.

"And no, human souls aren't supposed to be here forever. The greater demons, who were never human in the first place, stay forever. They're more like a part of hell itself. They spread propaganda telling the souls here that the torment is eternal, because the suffering is much greater when there's seemingly no end. Every human soul down here does pass on, eventually."

Maddie notices the TV buffer.

"Did the TV service break down again? Could've sworn I fixed it just a few weeks ago."

"How did you figure that out? Nobody told me they were fucking lying about the rules of Hell. Are you serious? That can't be right. I want to be here, I'm not even close to done being this rich, powerful bitch. I never will be. What I want is to become one of those higher ups here. Hell, I could overtake the big man himself. Then I could rule and avoid all my stupid suffering."

She frowns though, obviously affected. She turns the volume up on the television, apparently ignoring the buffering.

"Anyway, I can get more imps where she came from. Whatever. I need someone else to lick my envelopes. Someone less childish..."

Maddie lies down, putting her head on Mania's lap. She's remarkably catlike in this moment.

"Is that really what you want, Mania? You keep saying that but you seem really unhappy all the time. You never stop complaining, you just sound miserable. Wouldn't it be nice to have a giant mansion in Heaven, functioning appliances, like a working TV?"

She stares at the buffering TV, almost as bored as Mania.

"It's all just a giant lie. A giant lie to keep you miserable, because you made people miserable in life. But once you've finished your sentence, you can just leave. The only thing is that you have to be willing to leave."

Mania groans with how close Maddie has presented herself to the demon.

"Well, I'm telling you what I damn want—think it stands to reason I'm not fucking kidding. If I became a pasty little angel I wouldn't be even a tenth of the incredible woman I am. I don't want a normal life. I like this one, even with all the fucking little annoyances coloring my day. Can you stop asking me to go to heaven? I'm not willing to leave, so I'm never going to leave, okay? Is it a lie if I don't really care what we're watching, and I'm just waiting to heal enough to go back to writing my magical contracts?"

She touches her own forehead.

"Anyway, let's change the subject. If you're not leaving me alone, you pathetic worm, I have something else to complain to you about."

"You won't become an angel. You'll just stop being a demon. You'll be a bit like you were in life. You're quite beautiful, you know."

She snuggles up, getting comfy in Mania's lap.

"Tell me, how exactly did you get where you are? Did you work hard to reach this point? You seem to be so attached to it; you aren't willing to let go yet."

"That was a really long time ago. I'm not interested."

She clacks her nails together. The show stops buffering for now, thankfully.

"I know I'm sexy. Yes, though, I worked my ass off. I still do. For the longest time I had to conduct market research in Hell with even less than I have now, and it went nowhere, but eventually I got my foot in the damn door. I got this location, I got imps, I executed my strategy with my new assets and abilities. Hell I even got recognized by the Internal Revenue Service. Fucking caspers."

"But it everything is so perfect for you down here... why do you seem so miserable? I haven't seen you happy at all. You just complain and groan and suffer. I think you act like you have it all because you can't come to terms with the fact that you're in Hell, suffering forever."

She rotates in Mania's lap, looking up at her.

She rolls her eyes.

"...To return to what I was going to tell you, the state of my eternal damnation was my choice. The creation of this office building also was the start of me having to be on the damn ceiling all the time. If I resist it for too long I get splitting headaches. The Demons of Fate really thought they were fucking funny with that one. But one of those bastards personally explained to me, actually, that I'd become insatiably horny as well when I started writing mortals contracts. I'm only a whore as some stupid, ironic payment."

Maddie is silent for a moment, thinking over Mania's words.

"Well... I'm supposed to be helping you. If you want me to I could... you know... help you? With the insatiable horniness?"

She blushes as she barely manages to force the words out, her face almost as red as Mania's.

Mania slaps Maddie's face and then pushes her off her lap. She groans again in pain, so she hugs her arms against her chest.

"Horny idiot. I'd rather fuck that crypto bro again."

Maddie blushes even deeper, flustered at Mania's insult. She rubs her cheek, which stings slightly at Mania's slap.

"I'm not horny! I was just offering to help... it's my obligation to help you... I'm sorry."


Continue...


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