A train pulls back into Heaven, and Maddie steps off into the station. She begins walking towards the section of Heaven where some of the oldest angels reside, intent on figuring out how to save Mania.
The residential area of Heaven is intricate, beautiful, and yet efficient. More colors are prominently featured here in the flowers, trees, and outside paintings than most the rest of this afterlife. And gentle tramways exist just outside the unique exteriors of all the homes. No two homes look the same.
Eventually, Maddie arrives at a home featuring vivid orange flower arrangements in its front garden. And Maddie rings the doorbell to find a tall, hardy angel with glasses. Of course, they must be cosmetic.
He says, "Hello! Therein is our favorite feline angel!"
Maddie smiles, happy to see her old friend and mentor. She walks up, arms wide for a hug.
"Hello Theo! It's great to see you again!"
She moves up, hugs the taller angel in greeting, and then follows him inside. Inside the house, down a hallway, they enter a comfortable living room with a couch next to a low table. Large door windows on the opposite side lead to a porch with a view of a beautiful garden.
One wall prominently displays a large shield and set of wooden instruments. On another is a mural of the Pantheon. He offers Maddie a drink with water, honey, and barley. He then nods.
"It's been a great many years. Thou here to speak with an old man?" He raises his eyebrows. "What's taken ahold of your mind?"
Maddie sits at the table, taking a sip of the drink. She takes a moment to think, then speaks.
"Yes, actually. Just today I met my Assumer for the first time. She was... not what I had expected. She's a demon, and she's so filled with hatred for herself and everyone in the world. I want to help her... do you know anything about this? I don't want her to suffer forever..."
He nods again. His eyes wander to the locked bedroom door. "It is not uncommon, Maddie—since of a truth it is far better to return for the souls of the Damned than abandon hope for them too. Every angel prepares for any mission of salvation."
He walks to the room and knocks the door. A smiling human soul walks out holding a hardback book. It's a mystery novel.
"Maddie, draw thine eyes to Brian. He is my Assumer. I casted him from Hell."
"I heard you were talking about demons?" Brian says.
Maddie turns to look at Brian, ears perking up.
"Yes, I am asking about demons! My Assumer is one, and I really want to help her. Theo just said he took you from hell... I never knew that. Could you help me with this?
Maddie looks at Brian, pleading like a kitten begging for attention. Her tail waves expectantly.
"Her name is Mania, she claims to be the 'CEO of Hell.' Do you know what any of that means?"
Brian drops his book and coughs. "M-Mania? They cutting this kid some slack or what?" He laughs. "Of course I can help you, Maddie. From what I hear on Saturdays with the other Salvaged, Mania is basically a celebrity to the other human souls in Hell. She has twisted powers over mortals few human souls ever get. And she's your Assumer?"
Brian reaches for Theo's hand. He searches his eyes.
Theo says, "All demons suffer lest an angel comes to their calling. Then, they are ready to rest or are denying this privilege from themselves. But even for the willing Damned—"
"It might take a little while. It took me a century." He is unfazed with this revelation.
Maddie looks at Brian, a resolve in her eyes.
"I'll do it, however long it takes. It's my duty. I can't just... let her suffer down there forever. And she continues to make living humans suffer, and eventually they go to hell for what she's made them do, and then they suffer... I have to make it stop. For everyone's sake. I don't care if it takes me a hundred, two hundred, three hundred years. It's worth it."
Maddie looks back and forth between Theo and Brian.
"Please, any help is invaluable. Anything you can do."
Brian and Theo nod in unison.
The angel says, "Our likenesses train for often decades, and in our places even centuries. You're preparedness is as great as it could be, favoritest feline angel. However, by my decree because of the extraordinary circumstances of your assumer..."
He digs into a drawer under an urn beside them. He removes a vial of white, faintly glowing liquid from it along with a quill.
Brian smiles. "You're a genius, my Savior. That, Maddie, is holy ink remover—I think on Earth they would call it 'holy whiteout.' Are you picking up what Theo is putting down?"
"Yes, this is perfect! I can completely ruin her contracts using this, and help the people she's trying to torment! If I can intercept her when she's handing someone the contract to sign, I can remove the fine print that ruins their lives."
Maddie takes the vial, slipping it into her purse, which phases in and out of physicality when she needs it.
"Thank you so much for this. I really want to save her. She doesn't deserve this."
"No, no Assumer does." Theo smiles. "Is there another thing else you need from this old man?"
Brian says, "You'll be legendary after all this is done and through, Maddie. I hope you know that. You're right that you'll be helping not just Mania but also prevent the suffering she causes. It's just invaluable work."
He smiles and goes into the doorframe of his bedroom.
"No, that's all! Thank you so much for the help, this will be very impactful at bringing her salvation. I'm going to leave now, I'm going to see if I can catch her writing a contract and stop her."
Maddie waves goodbye as she walks away from the house and makes her way back to the train station. The train always takes Angels exactly where they need to be, so she simply boards it and sits down, looking out the window. She gazes through the ether, seeing endless clouds on an infinite sky as the train chugs along through the expanse between Heaven and Earth. Finally, her stop has arrived. She steps off the train, somewhere in rural Washington. She sees a farmhouse, and a familiar woman ringing the doorbell.
She greets the young farmer and steps inside with him. He closes the door, and a tattered sign swinging from the handle reads "Home Sweet Home."
"Thank you for taking my call and appointment. It's such an honor. Sit anywhere you like, Ms. Flecheloo." He opens his fridge and takes out a diet beer can.
"It won't be necessary," She says. She takes a granny smith apple from the long dining table. "Glad you've found time to be alone for this, truly. Anyway, you said you wanted your kids to have access to better healthcare and services? You should be aware I'm much more capable than that. I could fund their educations. I could buy you a Ferrari, or whatever other damn thing."
Maddie hides her wings and halo and then strides up and walks through the door. She simply stands behind Mania, out of her vision, waiting for her to write a contract. She makes eye contact with the now confused farmer and simply smiles and gives him a small wave, although her eyes glow golden for a brief moment. She waits patiently behind Mania, not making any further movements, content to wait for the right opportunity to step in.
The man is placated by the angel's golden eyes, and he returns his attention to the CEO. He sips on his can.
"Actually, Miss, I'll take you up on that offer. My kids deserve a good education to go with their good insurance. And I don't need a new car or anything, but Penny should get that big ol' dollhouse she's been asking for!"
Mania nods, writing onto the same parchment from her black office binder that she used for Maddie's contractual headpat. She spreads the sheet and pen onto the table. And she then pokes her white painted nails together.
"They will have everything they could need, Mr. Richardson. I'm short on time, so read and sign on the dotted line—nice doing business."
Maddie quietly pulls the faintly glowing bottle from her purse, uncorking it shortly after. She closes her eyes, and a thin trail of droplets, barely enough to make a dent in the contents of the flask, flows out, levitating through the air. The drops flow through the air and land onto the parchment. They cover the shifting, deceitful sections of the contract, leaving only the parts that are truly beneficial to the man.
Maddie opens her eyes, giving a small nod to the man, who is still somewhat under the effects of Maddie's angelic powers. He looks over the contract, quickly signing it. Where the white fluid landed, there is simply blank parchment, not a trace left behind of ink nor whiteout.
"Excellent. People would reward you for a job well done with your quaint wheat fields and your family, Mr. Richardson, but I'm not fucking people. I'm Mania, the CEO of Hell. Your good nature is a hindrance to your potential. Your time with your kids is ruining your chances at upscaling your business. You could be an agricultural fucking—"
Mania then suddenly screams, and she digs in her purse for something she prepared just in case Maddie decided to show up again. And her red skin and demonic horns and tail override her human disguise. She tumbles onto the ceiling.
"Leave me alone, you stupid bitch. Why are you here?"
"Let's take this outside, please. Shouldn't it be obvious why I'm here? I'm stopping you from terrorizing this poor man. Come on, we can talk this out outside."
Maddie turns to the man as her halo and wings reappear.
"Go now, child. Enjoy the benefits of the contract, and know that I have kept you safe. Your intentions were pure, and thus you were saved. Leave the room, and speak of this to no one."
Maddie picks up the contract, and it shimmers into golden light, sealed. Mania is now contractually obligated to help the farmer, as per the contract's writing.
The farmer's brief venture into abject terror and bewilderment is resolved by Maddie's holy proclamations, and he walks away with a warm feeling. He downs the rest of his beer can and tosses it down the stairwell.
Mania sits on the ceiling with her legs crossed, her hand still dug in her purse. She threw her temper tantrum and then some, bickering now under her breath. Eventually, however, she stops and smiles.
"Alright, Maddie, I've finally come to realize the error of my ways. Give me a hug. I'll show you."
Maddie gives Mania a disappointed look and then rolls her eyes.
"Sure you have. You definitely are well meaning and want a genuine hug."
Maddie gracefully floats up to the ceiling, flipping upside down to match Mania. However, she lands behind Mania and gives her a hug from behind, gently but very obviously locking Mania's arms from moving during the hug.
"This isn't so bad, right?"
The demon struggles in her restraints, groaning. Her arm repeatedly tries to lift itself from the purse, holding an enchanted dagger inside.
"You're lucky you didn't scare my client away. I'll make his life even more of a living Hell just for you! Let go of me! Do you really think you mean anything to me? Of course I don't really want a damn hug."
A golden light shines from Maddie's halo, and the two of them find themselves in the farmer's field, a fair distance away from the house, on a small path through the crops.
"Come on now. You know that won't work on me," Maddie says, arms out, exposing her body for Mania to stab, "Although you can try if you like. Can't we just have a chat? Do you really want to keep hurting yourself?"
Mania returns to standing on the mortal ground, then, briefly impressed by the arbitrary teleportation. The wheat is just a week away before harvest.
"I didn't know angels actually exist, assuming you're really an angel, so I'm looking forward to stabbing the shit out of you and testing that theory, alright? If you're so immortal, you have nothing to fear!"
She drags the knife from her purse and stabs it through Maddie's shirt and where the heart would be. A coating of a demon's ichor on the tip of the blade stings the angel and nothing more, neutralizing inside the angel's form. And Mania then stabs her two more times before dropping the knife on the dirt.
"So you aren't just a catty sorceress," She says. "Dammit."
"Why would I lie to you about being an angel? I really do just want to help you, Mania. You really do have nothing to lose except your pain."
Maddie walks up to her again, this time giving her a genuine hug. She quietly speaks into the demon's ear.
"You could be free. You could join everyone else in heaven, spend the rest of eternity happy and without torment. Why do you resist like this, all you need to do is let go of your hatred and pain. It may take a while, years, decades, centuries. But your suffering can end."
She simply stays like this, holding the other woman in a soft embrace.
She slaps Maddie's arms away, and she jogs in a random direction—away.
Mania says, "I have a skyscraper! I have unimaginable wealth. I have incredible power over the lives of other. I can fuck anyone or anything I want. I chose this afterlife. What do you have? Little wings? You can kiss wounds? You have to speak like you're talking to my frail old grandma, so fucking pedantic?"
She laughs. She combs her white hair back with her hands.
"Stop wasting your time, Maddie. Why do you care about me? How could I ever have created someone so obnoxiously obsessed with my fate? What was that about?"
Maddie, still being patient with the annoying demon, rolls her eyes.
"Fine. I'll drop the voice thing. You don't have a skyscraper and unimaginable wealth. You have a prison cell and Monopoly money. None of it actually does anything for you. Your mind is just so clouded with pain that you don't realize it. Or maybe you do realize it, and you're just trying to convince yourself otherwise, because you're scared."
Maddie gives her a genuinely sad look.
"You are literally the reason I exist, and I have to care for you. It's simply a part of my being."
"I'm a demon in Hell—of course there's some caveats. I can't fuck with the big man, I can't hire much better than those worthless imps, I can't see anything from my office other than magma and rock! But I'm powerful. I'm unstoppable. I'm a damn menace. I'm worth the planet in gold!"
She shrugs. She digs into her purse for her cellphone, and she checks for signal.
"If you have to care for me so much, how about you send me to my office after you tell me why I don't remember creating you?"
"Well, angels are beings created unintentionally by humans. Whenever a human tries to remember someone that never existed, an angel is born. I happen to have appeared near the end of your life, when you were insane. You mourned the loss of a cat that never really existed, and from that, I was born in heaven. I chose this form," She gestures to her ears, "in honor of that."
She gives Mania a hopeful look.
"So, now that I've told you how you created me, will you listen to me? Sure, we can go back to your office in Hell. I can fix your air conditioner if you want me to by the way."
A genuine confusion crosses Mania. She stops walking away.
"Why would that create anything, let alone a whole-ass angel? It's creative, if nothing else. And I didn't imagine anything, and I'm not insane—they figured that out real quick, and then they hung me by the damn neck! I wanted something more than anyone, and I guess that was too much for them. I'd hate to waste my life away in poverty like the rest of you losers."
She continues, frustrated with the cellphone and stuffing it away again, "Seriously, though, are you implying little kitty Ana didn't exist?"
Maddie spreads her arms wide. "I'm pretty much the closest thing to your pet cat that's ever existed."
Maddie walks closer to Mania and then takes her hand. Without asking, a golden light once again flows from Maddie's halo, and they find themselves back in Mania's office.
"So, could you point me to the air conditioning unit? I can probably fix it."
Mania frowns. She leans on the wall in the stuffy hallway and grinds on her teeth. She's returned to the ceiling, and she points at the busted air conditioning unit.
"Angel or not, you're not going to fix the air conditioner. Don't waste our damn time. And show me where I can unsubscribe from you ever showing your ugly face again. Like, I want to speak to your manager. I don't need you. I'm happy, idiot. There's nothing else you should care about."
Maddie walks over to the air conditioning unit, looking closely at it. She opens a panel on the side, viewing the inner workings. Reaching into her purse, which manifests on her side, she begins pulling out screwdrivers and wrenches and other tools. She then pulls out a welding mask, an entire propane tank, and a blowtorch. She doesn't use the propane tank, but she still has it just in case the blowtorch runs out. She begins working on the air conditioner, fixing it rapidly. Within ten minutes, the air conditioner is working as if it is brand new.
Maddie lifts the welding mask. "There you go! Oh come on, I'm not that ugly am I? I thought you liked cats. And, uh, you'd have to go to Heaven to speak to my manager. And they're an Archangel so they probably won't like you very much. Actually, I could bring you to heaven for a day trip! I can show you around a little, give you a taste of where you'll be once you're out of hell."
Mania watches Maddie's purse drained out with an entire mechanic's workshop, and then she shrugs and walks away. She checks her emails on her yellowing PC and occasionally glances back over at Maddie.
The noise of the max setting of the air conditioner is about as thrilling to Mania as an ice cream truck jingle is for a pudgy kid in the 20s. She's already over Maddie's shoulder, ignoring her voice entirely in favor of awkwardly waving her hands in front of the machine, the cool air entirely out of place in this infernal place.
"How did you do this? I kidnapped dozens of mechanics here... I've hired NASA engineers!"
"Hm. You must not have kidnapped any competent engineers, because it was really easy. Just needed to screw in a few loose panels and clear the hellfire out of it. Oh. Right. Humans can't purge the hellfire that somehow got stuck inside of your ACU; that's probably the issue."
Maddie sits on an office chair, spinning it to face Mania.
"So what now. Are you willing to listen to me? You feel that wonderful, cool breeze from the air conditioning? You can feel nice and comfortable like that all the time in heaven. Never have to worry about it breaking down again."
She lays in front of the air conditioner, and her hair bounces in the manufactured breeze. She shakes her head.
"'Listen to you?' How about 'Are you ready to listen to me,' Maddie? If you're really some angel performing fucking black magic and fixing shit I should be suffering for, why should I need a heaven? Work for me, and I'll make it worth your time. You said your duty was to help me? Well, you're helping me, bitch. Get me a better computer, that shit hangs every couple of minutes. Fix my internet. The only reception I get is from fucking Bolivia. No idea why."
"I, like most angels, am very patient. And I'm being very patient with you, right now. I can only temporarily fix these problems, they'll keep returning forever. And I'll have obligations elsewhere. So you're going to continue to suffer, eternally, until you let go."
Maddie kneels down on the floor next to Mania's head and then bends over and kisses her on the forehead.
"Haven't I shown you that I truly do mean to help you by now? Or will you make this difficult for yourself and take hundreds of years. It's really your choice, I'll wait as long as I have to. I'll keep coming back for you."
"Let's try making this as difficult as possible and test your patience. You'll go away if you get sick of me. I can live with the stupid inconveniences if it means I get to be as cool as Hell. Anyway—"
Mania smashes Maddie's chin against the floor and grumbles, returning to the ceiling and walking over to the elevator.
"Please don't kiss me. What kind of angel kisses a demon, seriously? But seriously, I have a man in Toronto with a big dick waiting for me in four minutes, and you're really turning me off right now, and I really have to do this. The least you can let me have is this. Leave me alone for a fucking minute, okay?"
She presses the elevator button, and the elevator zips away.