Mania and the Hopeful Celestial

Maria clicks the laser pointer on and points at the presentation software projected onto the wall of the tech company's boardroom.

"Thank you for hosting me today. As CEO of Ulterior Inc., I hope to enrich Impressions Corporation with exciting opportunities!"

She circles the laser point dot on a clip art of a man giving a thumbs up. She scheduled this meeting, like many of her meetings, in secrecy from Maddie. And she found through the last few years that wearing unique, enchanted perfumes would make it nearly impossible for the angel to track her down.

"It's common knowledge to the public that their information is being bought by 'shadow companies'. But what if the consumers could take back their information rights? What if it was in the palms of their hands?"

One of the men in suits murmurs.

"Right. Introducing InfoShare!" The slide changes to a logo with one color and a vague shape. "Using InfoShare, anyone can willingly concede their data to the highest bidder! And you, at Impressions Corporation, would get it all for free too."

The door in the back of the boardroom quietly opens, and a woman in a suit, dressed like the other people in the room, slips in. A pair of cat ears protrudes from the top of her hair. She simply follows suit with the other businesspeople, watching the presentation intently.

Maria shares a piercing stare to the angel in the suit, and she continues anyway.

"InfoShare is a free app. The wider of a net the app casts, the larger the amount of aggregate data we can sell to the very 'shadow companies' consumers were hoping to avoid altogether! So, please, together we can remove any last semblance of dignity from a citizen of the free market. Selling your labor and time for forty-hour workweeks was the first great innovation, and then came selling your body on social media services—which is still a growing practice. And now you sell your unique digital footprint!"

She claps her hands in self-applause. Most of the room joins Maria in this.

"Any questions? Please remember I have more innovations to discuss today, and we don't have all day."

Maddie walks over to Mania, grabbing her hand and shaking it.

"Excellent work, just a great proposal. You forgot your ichorfume, by the way. I could sense you immediately. Let's get to the elevator."

Without waiting for Mania to answer, she drags her out the door with a surprising strength. She brings her to the elevator, pulling her into it with her.

"Okay, you need to put in the address for 254 Celestine Ave, 29th floor. Trust me, it'll be great. And put on your ichorfume, you're going to need it."

Mania grumbles and tosses copies of her business card across the floor and hallway as she's dragged out of the board room.

"Thank you!" She says to the executives. When the elevator closes, however, she addresses Maddie. She also applies her demonic perfume.

"Dammit. Oh well. Since we're here, I guess I'll humor you. Is it going to be another dying kid you're taking me to pity or whatever? You know I don't really care. Why do I need this shit sprayed on?"

She presses the elevator button with the address in mind. And when the red room zooms away, an echo booms below them, and the lights briefly flicker. Mania raises her eyebrow at Maddie.

Maddie steps out the elevator door, noticing a familiar hallway. It's not too long of a corridor, and the end of it is a large floor to ceiling window, which looks out on a shining white and gold city. Maddie leads Mania to door 2905, pushing it open and leading Mania inside. It opens into a large suite; the main room has a large couch with a coffee table and a TV on the wall. There's a corridor leading to a kitchen and two doors, which are likely to be a bathroom and bedroom. A large window spans the right wall, again looking out over the city.

"Welcome to my apartment! I hope you like it. We're in Heaven right now."

Maddie turns, beaming at Mania as she shows her the apartment.

"So? What do you think? Wanna sit on the couch with me?"

Mania, still in her human disguise, lingers outside of the angel's apartment, staring out of the window at the pristine city. She's quiet, bizarrely so, and she zips up her purse.

She then slips inside the apartment, and she runs her hands on the fabric of the couch. She smirks at the rest of the place, and she goes ahead and lies across the couch.

"There's no way I'm supposed to be in Heaven right now. Pretty sure we'd both get in a lot of fucking trouble if we got caught. Sure is beautiful here, though. So much infrastructure just outside the windows... I thought it would be some boring grassy field or something. Guess that was a damn lie, too. Anyway, why the Hell do you drink coffee? That caffeine shouldn't work on you."

"Oh? I don't drink the coffee. Stuff's nasty. But my cat, Virtue, loves it. Hold on."

Maddie turns toward the door that leads to her bedroom, and goes "Pspspspspsps," calling her cat. A cat slowly walks out, plump and fluffy, and walks over to Maddie, who scoops it up.

"He loves coffee. Not sure why, not going to question it, but I'm fairly sure the way he died was eating an entire bag of coffee beans in life. And I just take care of him. Angels often adopt stray pets that die with no one to go to."

Maddie glances at Mania, noticing her demonic aura.

"Oh goodness. You really need to put on that concealing mixture before someone notices you. I'll help, if you like."

"You named your cat Virtue?" She laughs. "Your kind is absolutely fucking insufferable. I had no idea cats and stuff could go to the afterlife at all. They sure aren't in Hell. I guess that means they're all devoid of sin."

She shrugs. Maddie's couch is somehow the most comfortable couch she's ever sprawled across, and that would include hundreds. They've only improved with the centuries, a pleasant side-effect of capitalism being commercial innovation, but Maddie's is immaculate in the way things in Heaven are.

"Concealing what? What does that do, make me invisible or something?"

"Basically, you reek of demonic energy. You don't actually smell, but you have an aura about you that instantly makes you recognizable as a demon to any angel who sees you. Which is uh. Not good for what we're doing right now."

Maddie sits on the couch, next to Mania.

"Of course cats are devoid of sin. 'They're driven by instinct and do not have morality as humans do' is what a lesser person would say. I just know that all cats are awesome and good." She wiggles her ears for added effect.

"Right. It sounds like you want to spray me with the angel equivalent of my ichorfume, did I get that right? Are you sure it won't hurt like a bitch? I'm pretty sure that shit's going to hurt."

She looks up at Maddie, still incredibly pleased by this wild circumstance. Mania has rarely verged on getting into genuine trouble. It's thrilling. The last time was when Mania tried to be a smartass with one of her contracts by inserting a clause in invisible print that she would be freed from Hell altogether. The Demons of Fate intervened before it was even signed. What followed was just terrible.

"Yeah, you'll be okay, I'm sure! Let me grab the cream from my room!"

Maddie gets up for a moment, leaving Mania with Virtue. The cat stares at her, then meows once, and curls up next to her. Maddie returns, holding a tube of a glistening golden substance.

"Oh. Right. It's like a lotiony cream thingy. You're going to need to take some of your clothes off... sorry about that. Want me to help you with that?"

Mania pets Virtue a single time while Maddie is in her bedroom.

Upon her return, the demon rolls her eyes and strips off her formal clothes from the board meeting, tossing them on the floor. She's left in what seems to resemble shiny red lingerie but is actually just Mania's standard 'comfy clothing'. It isn't close to the first time Maddie has seen it.

"Will that suffice, Maddie? I'll be fucking naked if I need to."

"Yes, that's probably enough. Not that I would mind having you naked in my apartment. Just hold still."

Maddie begins to rub her down with the cream, which seems to slowly absorb into her skin. She coats her entire body in it, leaving no spots missing. She moves carefully and slowly around Mania's breasts, her low-cut lingerie revealing a lot of chest for Maddie to coat.

"Sorry if that was a bit... awkward. You're going to need to sit like this for a bit while it absorbs into your body. Give it a few minutes."

Maddie sits on the couch and then curls up next to Virtue, looking for all the world like another cat sitting next to it.

"You're not funny, Maddie. If you ever see my nipples, you'll have to fucking pay me. Cash."

She keeps still, though, and she lets the angel caress the lotion all over her fiery skin. She sometimes shivers, however, and then clenches her teeth.

As they wait for it to dry, she says, "I feel like I have ice burns everywhere. They definitely didn't think to design this shit for demons. You'd think they'd have thought of fucking everything here."

Mania's passive demonic aura, however, does gradually smear and hide under the overwhelming power of the holy cream. Her eyes widen, and she touches her own arm. She sniffs it.

"You look a lot nicer. Your skin should look less demonic once it finishes setting in. Then we can go outside and you can see the city! It'll be great, you'll love it. Also, put on something more casual once the cream has set in."

Maddie walks over to the large window, smiling as she looks out over the city. Angels fly back and forth, and a mingling crowd of souls and angels constantly are walking around the streets of the city, going about their day.

"You know, I really think you'll come to like it here. It'll be your home someday, you know."

"Yeah, this feels really weird. It sort of feels like being human, but that's been ages so what do I know. What do you mean I look nicer?"

She shakes her head and then closes her eyes and enjoys this odd peace this cream has afforded her. It's alien. She doesn't even feel in a hurry.

Eventually, however, she grumbles and changes her human appearance with her usual quick magical touchup methods. And while it may not be a suit, it's still something expensive, formal, and dressy. It drapes her legs and hides her chest. And it's white, a mockery of the realm they're in. She wanders to Maddie at the view.

"I wouldn't be so sure. You're not just going to drug and bait who I am out of me. This is just a fun little distraction."

Maddie steps towards the door, finished with admiring the view.

"Come with me, we're going to walk around the city a bit. Maybe I'll take you to my favorite café. We can get something nice to drink. Do you like croissants?"

Maddie's wings and halo are visible, denoting her as an Angel to all of Heaven. She pushes open the door, waiting for the disguised demon.

"I don't really eat much, Maddie. It doesn't taste like anything to me anymore, and what's a little hunger to a fair amount of physical pain? I can barely even feel alcohol."

She walks out of the apartment with her designated angel, then.

"Okay, but why do I feel like going to eat a croissant anyway? I definitely won't freaking taste it. Freaking. F—"

She shivers.

Maddie chuckles.

"Oh yeah, no being naughty. The cream has a lot of side effects, you know."

Maddie steps into the elevator, making sure Mania follows her in. She sets it down to the first floor. Stepping out, she walks by the front desk, where a mechanical-looking angel is sipping a cup of coffee and reading some papers.

"Morning, Y'nara!" Maddie waves to the angel. They wave back, strange gears turning in their joints. The angel notably didn't react much to Mania, acting as if nothing was out of place. Maddie pushes open the front door, leading Mania out.

"The café is just a couple blocks down the street, you'll like it I swear."

She grumbles, and she hugs her shoulders as they walk out of the apartment building. The street is lively, of course, but also not crowded. The diversity of the individuals in the street baffles Mania—there are four classifications of demons who were once humans and then also the special, higher caste of the Demons of Fate. Here, seemingly every angel is as defined as Maddie and that robotic one.

"I better like that café. I'm kind of used to being naughty, remember? Even if I think that Y'nara looks cool. And the rest of this place, for that matter. It looks just so clean—I'm not coming back here ever again, even just because of this goody two-shoes crap. Ugh."

"Oh come on, once you move here properly you'll be able to cuss like a sailor. It's just the temporary solution."

They continue to walk, eventually coming across a small café, with large windows in the front of the store. Maddie leads her in. It's cozy, cute, and positively heavenly. Maddie steps up to the barista, an angel whose entire body is one glowing, crystalline eyeball.

"Can I get the usual? And two of them, one for my friend."

The eye contorts into something that's about as close to a smile as an eye can do, and speaks. Clearly, Maddie is a regular.

"Of course! Nice to see a new face in here," the angel says, "Two Hot Chocolate Swirls coming right up!"

Maddie smiles and then leads Mania to a booth.

"That's Jeremy. He's a sweetheart. I don't know how an eyeball runs a cafe, but he makes do. Isn't it a nice place?"

There's a couple other groups of angels and souls hanging out in the cafe, one or two of whom wave at Maddie. Maddie waves back, clearly recognizing them from around.

"You sure enjoy assuming that I'll actually live here someday. Didn't your mother teach you not to assume things of other people? Oh, well, I suppose you don't really have a mom."

She stares at the eyeball with hesitation and disgust, and she exhales as she slides in their booth. She speaks quietly, fearful that she'll be caught in this sacred place and punished accordingly in Hell, really.

"I didn't want hot chocolate, speaking of assuming everything. You're wasting your money, or angel coins, or whatever. It's nice in here, yes. And, anyway, mind telling me why this Jeremy is an abomination? I thought people were supposed to enjoy this place. Did he stare through too many bathroom windows and receive punishment or something?"

"I'm appalled that you'd call Jeremy an abomination! He runs the cafe in his spare time, he enjoys it a lot. Before he retired, he watched over souls as they entered heaven, to make sure everything was going smoothly. Hence the giant eye. I think he's pretty cute."

Maddie smiles as a waitress brings them their drinks. She's a woman with fox ears and numerous tails. Maddie recalls that she sparked many myths when she wasn't retired, and is the origin of the idea of a kitsune. She, much like Jeremy, loves working here, simply to see people every day. Standing up for long periods wasn't tiring for an angel.

"Thanks!" Maddie says to the woman, taking the drinks. She slides one to Mania.

"Have a great day, Maddie! And you too!" the angel says to the two of them.

Once the kitsune angel has moved on, Maddie turns to Mania again.

"Anyways, my manners are much better than my mom's, because you're the closest thing I have to a mom. Please please please just try the hot chocolate. It might surprise you. And we don't pay for things here. There's no currency of any kind; it's Heaven. You just get whatever you want."

"That can't be healthy. Eyeballs aren't cute. You should go get a therapist or something."

She snatches the tempered glass mug of hot chocolate, bothered once more by this compulsion to actually eat and drink. Mania wonders if the kitsune waitress is aware that she symbolizes wealth and business to the culture of Japan. You know, the exact kind of principles that apparently were impossible here.

"Yeah, thank you," She says too late to the waitress. It's definitely an interesting, informative day, at least. She didn't need a push of optimism for that.

She continues to Maddie, "Don't imply I'm your mom. I had kids and they're long dead now. You're not one of them. And, what, you just ask for things? What if you wanted a yacht? Thousands of acres of land? Is this communism? Pathetic political theory..."

Maddie smiles, amused by Mania's comparison between the mortal world and Heaven.

"Yes, because the space in Heaven infinitely expands to make room for more people, you can have as much room as you want. I know a farmer who loved farming so much they got an area the size of Texas all to themself. I should check in on them sometime. And yes, anything. Someone has an entire battleship they converted into a home."

Maddie sips her hot chocolate, enjoying it greatly.

"I think your comparison to communism is funny. There's no politics here, we just kind of exist. Even communism implies some level of economics. Here, there's infinite of anything anyone could want. So no, it's not communism. In the literal sense. Also, yeah, in your current state, I'd be ashamed to have you as my mom. Someday, you'll be better. Maybe we'll even call each other friends. Drink your hot chocolate by the way."

"That's—well, that's completely ridiculous. There are much better ways of creating a paradise than leveraging everyone infinite resources. Not everyone deserves that, even in heaven. And what's the point of having truly infinite power just drop in your lap? It just feels pointless as a gift. It's just insane!"

She shakes her head, and she sips the hot chocolate that Maddie keeps nagging her about. Then, she immediately bursts into tears. She drinks the rest of her mug quickly, sobbing between long sips, and settles with her face in her arms on the table.

"It's so, so good. What even happened to me? I really haven't tasted a thing in centuries!?"

Maddie scoots up next to her, putting an arm over her shoulder.

"It's alright, I know this comes as a shock to finally realize just how much you've suffered. This is what I mean when I keep telling you that it's awful, and that it gets better."

Maddie slides Mania her own hot chocolate, offering it to her.

"Have mine. You seem like you need it more than I do."

Mania greedily accepts Maddie's mug, too, downing it twice as fast. She sniffles and she wipes her eyes with a napkin.

"Maddie, that's not really my point. I don't know what this is. I drank one too many hot pots of coffee or something down there—but why can I only taste things here? Can you order me something else? Those croissants?"

She's always had been under the impression she simply grew numb to the diverse flavor palette of human culture with all her amazing wealth and time for experiencing it. It would seem she has some catching up to do.

"Of course! I'll go order some."

Maddie stands up and walks up to Jeremy again. She orders three croissants: one plain, one filled with custard, and one with chocolate filling. A few minutes later, she returns with the food, which she chose to wait for and carry to the table this time rather than waiting for the waitress.

"Here you go! This one's chocolate, this one's a normal one, and this one's got custard in it! Custard's my favorite."

The demoness would embarrass herself with how much of these snacks and drinks she ends up stuffing into herself if, of course, she wasn't already so enthralled. To Hell with it if she gains weight. She could afford some gluttony.

Much later, she walks again on the civilian avenues with Maddie by her side. The weather is perfect. Of course it is. A large stretch of grass, trees, and rivers is right in the middle of this celestial city—or at least, what might be a middle of many middles in this vast dimension. They're approaching it, apparently. She hadn't even considered where they were going until now.

She asks, "How big is this city? Does it have a name or something?"

"It's enormous. There's smaller cities farther out, but they can be travelled to very quickly. It's called the Gate, and it's where most Angels live and work. When they retire, they move to a house like a human soul."

Maddie leads Mania to a secluded bench in the park, surrounded by trees and a gurgling creek. Birdsong fills the air, as small woodland creatures are out and about.

"Isn't it nice here? Just the fresh air, perfect weather, and beautiful scenery. You should relax every once in a while!"

"And let's suppose that they don't want to retire. Can they live and work here forever?"

She sits on the bench, tapping her fingers against its metal rail to her right side. She sighs.

"I probably missed a couple appointments already. We should make this quick and then get me back to my office. But, yes, it is nice. I like the noise of the stream. It's different than watching TV. I hope this cream wears off when I go to below."

Maddie looks at Mania and realizes that the cream probably will in fact be wearing off soon.

"Yeah, we have another hour at most before it wears off. And to answer your question, they can start and stop working whenever they want to. There are angels who have been working on and off since the Ice Age. I've only been around as long as you, of course."

Maddie stands up from the bench, the late afternoon light streaming from a sunless sky. She reaches out a hand to Mania, beckoning for her to take it.

"Well, they sure let you do a lot here. It's like a weird little retirement, even if you do work... Quick question, do you happen to know—God? Who runs this place? Who's pulling the strings?"

She frowns. Mania had once been a God-fearing woman of the late 1800s. Constant outspoken evangelists made religion a personal matter and, therefore, riddled everyone with guilt.

She ignores Maddie's hand, but she rubs her own forehead and says, "Thanks for giving me a tour."

Maddie cocks her head.

"There's no 'God' and the closest thing to a ruling body is a council of Archangels. They work together to ensure everything works smoothly, although the input of every Angel is considered."

Maddie starts walking, leading Mania back to her apartment.

"It's frustrating how incorrect mortals are about the afterlife."

She walks with Maddie and kicks a pebble on the sidewalk. She rubs her arm sometimes, wondering if her cover will blow early. Of course they have a committee taking input. They think they're a damn paradise.

"They got one thing kind of right, though. We have a guy called Gideon where I'm from. I guess mortals would call him Satan. He gets the final say, votes be damned."

Maddie notices her mild cursing, concerned.

"Oh wow, it really must be wearing off. We need to get to the elevator quickly."

They arrive at the apartment building, and Maddie opens the door, once again waving to Y'nara. They wave back to Maddie, before Maddie and Mania disappear into the elevator.

Just to be safe, Mania stays quiet until they're in the elevator. She presses the button, and they're plummeted to the underworld again. She sighs in relief, and she slouches against the wall and the ceiling.

"I'm so glad to be—damn fucking home again. Glad that's still working. Need to express myself somehow. Seriously, though, you're going to need to steal those recipes off of that eyeball's cafe. Or, I'll send you to screw right off and find the right chefs to work for me. You want to help me, after all, no?

It is her favorite excuse for asking Maddie for favors. She slips away to her personal bedroom.

Maddie had already pieced together what happened to Mania, knowing that the only reason she could taste the food was the holy magic of the cream suppressing her hellish curses. Maddie follows her, walking into her bedroom.

"You know you're lying to yourself. Both of us know the only reason you could taste it was because we were in Heaven, and the cream was holding back your demonic curse. The food won't taste good, even if you baked it perfectly to be the same. Why won't you just accept that Hell sucks and you should pass on?"

Her bedroom is the nicest room in the office building, which is to say it's a tiny, four-star suite. A mattress bolts to the ceiling above another in a metal bed frame with purple sheets. And purple linen hangs around the mattresses from the ceiling. Mania doesn't sleep, and so this room is mostly intended for her cursed sense of sexual desire.

She lies down on the ceiling mattress anyway, however. She laughs.

"Why don't you accept your heaven is dreadfully fucking boring and accept that you might be a little too used to the wholesome mundanity, hmm? Come on, it'll be fun. And bring me some of that holy cream if you're so sure."

"Do you want a chocolate bar? I have one in my purse if you like. Maybe it'll calm you down."

Maddie produces a small chocolate bar from her purse, which she offers to the demon.

"Also, why do you have a bed? I didn't know demons sleep! Angels don't. Well, it's optional. I enjoy taking catnaps.

"I already had hot chocolate and a chocolate croissant, but what the Hell."

Fully aware that it is a mortal treat, she takes it from Maddie and bites into it. She then gags and drops it, and it careens off the bottom mattress.

"That shit tastes like vomit and not just because it's made in the USA, I think. Dammit. But that's fine, I guess. If we need that cream again like you're saying, then so be it. I'll eat later."

She folds her hands behind her white hair, and she continues, "I have a bed for when I join my clients. You should know by now a CEO like me never sleeps."

Maddie blushes, now understanding what the bed is for.

"Alright then... was heaven really that bad? You seemed like you were enjoying it while we were there. I'm still going to take you again sometime, I really hope you warm up to it."

Maddie floats upside down and sits on the corner of the bed, much to the annoyance of Mania.

"I'll put some cream on you later so you can have something to eat. What are you going to do right now, anyways?"

She smirks. The angel never approaches that one subject with any confidence at all.

"No, heaven was actually fine, if you want the truth. I'm just not interested in abandoning my prospects here—that wealth and power I so rightfully possess that I could never have over others in heaven. Fuck that. I earned this shit. Look around you. Everything else is capitalism. And I'm Miss Capitalism, baby!"

She pushes Maddie's back and rolls over.

"Why, I'll get back to work. But we'll go again sometime, sure... You know it's still awfully mischievous of you, right? I wonder what would happen if you got caught by your darling leaders and they saw how naughty you've been. Would they break your little halo and throw you down with me?"

"Well, Angels are beings formed with only pure intentions. An Angel has never been punished simply because we aren't really able to do something truly wrong. My intentions are good; I simply am working to help you move on. I don't know if the higher ups of Hell would enjoy you going out to heaven, though. And what do you mean you earned this? You mean you're proud of how awful you were in life that you earned such a terrible punishment?"

Maddie lays back on the bed a bit, staring up at the floor.

"For someone so insufferable, I find it strangely enjoyable to hang out with you. I do hope we still see each other once in a while when you go to Heaven."

"But let's say that there's an angel who spends an unusually long time with her demon. And we can go further and say that this angel starts to like the demon, even wanting to 'hang out'. Then do you think there's a chance that the being of pure intentions can get a little corrupted? I do it all the time with mortals, after all. You wouldn't believe what corporate riches do to the nicest people you will ever meet."

She then feigns surprise, points at Maddie's head, and says, "Are those horns growing on your head!?" She laughs after a dreadful pause.

"Yeah, I'm proud. Few people would have had the courage, intensity, and work ethic that led me here."

Maddie simply facepalms. "You've got a long way to go still, huh. Good thing I'm here forever."